Nice People And Serious Business
Often time we hear and see nice people doing nice things… yeah. Of course, it’s the right thing to do but what if you’re in business? Is being nice to everyone going to get you to where you want to be successfully? What about having nice people on a team where aggression is often time needed? Here are a few facts regarding nice people: 
- Want To Please Everyone
- Tend To Be Used For Others’ Gain
- Have No Backbone
- Afraid To Be Honest & Blunt
- Would Rather Take A Loss Than Gain A Win
The world of business is cut-throat and nice people tend to get ran over and finish last… in other words, you can’t always be willing to give out to everyone and be kind.
The world is full of vultures. Sometimes you have to stand your ground, especially when people waste your time. It’s cool to deal with nice people, but in business, I would much rather have someone honestly tell me what I should work on instead of just being nice and and saying, “Yeah, you’re doing great!”
3 Reasons Why Nice People Will Sabotage You
The alternative to us truth-sayers (tell it like it is) is people with discretion. They grew up under the rule: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all.” They either lie and say something “supportive” when you bring them your hideous, doomed-to-fail idea, or worse they exhibit what I call Quiet-Politeness and simply say nothing.
Most likely they’re not vested enough in your success to engage in conflict with you over your passion.
These nice people are not doing you any favors. In fact they are sabotaging you in several ways:
1. Nice People Waste Your Time.
This happens in sales all the time. You meet people at networking events. They’re polite. They never actually tell you they won’t do business with your company. So you optimistically think they’re worth keeping in your tickler file.
You follow up every couple of months. You tell yourself that someday they will come around. They won’t. They politely return your email or take your call, again omitting the fact thatthey’ll never buy and are generally annoyed with your persistence.
In fact they would better serve you both, by stating that they already buy from their brother-in-law or that they hate your CEO, and just cut you loose. In business, nice people suck up the majority of your time and resources.
2. Nice People Encourage Low Standards.
Most people ask for opinions in hopes they are on the right path with a project. A marketer who has passionately invested months in a new campaign runs it by a nice colleague for her feedback.
The nice colleague thinks it’s a six on a scale of 10. The nice colleague supportively says: “ Looks good. Keep it up.” Why create unnecessary conflict in the cubicle next door? She thinks. The marketer feeling reassured, continues on his path of mediocrity. The campaign has lackluster results.
Share some inspiration with them that will not only help them build their standards but will also allow them to better inspire others as well.
3. Nice People Enable Failure.
When an achiever is passionately driving down a fatal path, nice people tend to clear out of the way. Some are simply avoiding conflict. Others don’t want to appear non-supportive as the achiever reaches the point of no return.
The nice people demonstrate their own brand of silent cruelty by not sharing their knowledge that can avert the disaster.
I’m not suggesting we round up all the nice people and ship them to parts unknown. Neither should we abandon all rules of polite society. But if you are an achiever in the business world, nice people will create unnecessary obstacles without some precautionary steps.
Nice People Need An Instant Boost!
1. Defend Against the “Golden Rule”
State clearly you do not want to be treated by nice people the way they want to be treated. Tell them instead to openly share their honest opinions and experiences or don’t engage. Tell them you intend to do the same.
Just a few weeks ago, I was told that I needed to humble myself but truth be told, why should I have to? Nice people will ALWAYS expect you to do for them like how they do for you and remain feeling “used and abused” but it will get them nowhere… don’t apologize for giving them what they need! They should be willing to give you the same fire! They may not see that you’re helping to break a barrier but they’ll thank you for it later.
…I know, I’ve gotten many thank you’s and I really needed that phone calls and messages to prove it. Nice people tend to look for others to be the kind shepherd in the field. The difference between the nice people and the shepherd is that even the shepherd has to use his stick to keep the sheep moving.
2. Reward Bluntness
It doesn’t matter if you are an entrepreneur, manager or employee. When you seek feedback, show that you appreciate truth and constructive criticism no matter how harsh and painful. Show you can apply input so people are encouraged to provide more of it.
“Adjust your actions based on the feedback you get from your environment. You got to be willing to take feedback and apply it to your business.” -Dave Wood
3. Give Nice People a Safe Path to Disengage
Most nice people can’t help themselves. Help them form nice people cliques and let them sabotage each other en masse.
Perhaps you can identify them with an embroidered N on their lapels so they can find each other easily.
This way you can avoid them and come hang out with those of us who will be brutally honest and give you the necessary feedback for success and achievement.
We’ll be supportive by helping you overcomeyour real obstacles and we’ll encourage you to do the same for us.
I believe we all should have at least 5 good people that will be real with us and let us know when we’re settling for foolishness, not giving it your all, and so forth. Nice people won’t light the flame under your ass but those who care and are honest enough to want to see you succeed will always carry a box of matches.
Even if it means making you mad… GRRRRR! I’m not saying go out and be dreadfully mean to nice people… continue to be kind and encouraging. After all, we’re still human.
“Strength and integrity build character and humility. Weakness and expectations fuel insanity. Nice people can only align with one.”
List Credits-Kevi Daum (Inc. Com Article)